No One Talks About the Rage
The white-hot fury that bubbles up out of nowhere. The scream you swallow because someone might hear. The door you slam harder than you meant to. The cereal box you hurl across the room when no one listens. And then – The shame.
We whisper about depression. We edge toward anxiety. But rage? Mum rage is still the unspoken villain of motherhood. And it needs to be spoken about.
“If you’ve ever Googled ‘Why do I keep yelling at my kids?’ or sobbed behind a locked bathroom door, wondering if they’d be better off with someone more patient – you’re not a monster. You’re not failing. You’re surviving. Barely. And it’s burning you alive.”
What Is Mum Rage, Really?
Let’s be clear: Mum rage isn’t just ‘getting cranky’.
It’s emotional overload. A boiling point. A nervous system that’s been red-lining for months.
It’s yelling louder than you meant to. Snapping at your partner. Slamming drawers over missing socks. It’s what happens when you’re overstimulated, overtouched, underslept, and under-supported.
It’s not because you don’t love your kids. It’s because your needs have been on mute for too long.
What Triggers Mum Rage?
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The clutter. The chaos. The constant interruptions.
The screechy toy that won’t shut up.
The same question repeated 47 times before 9am.
Your partner saying, ‘Just calm down’.
Or – nothing. Just a slow simmer that explodes.
Mum rage isn’t always rational. It’s hormonal. It’s chemical. It’s physical. It’s your body screaming: ‘I’ve reached my limit’.
But Aren’t Mums Supposed to Be Calm and Gentle?
Ah yes. The myth. That motherhood makes you patient. That if you’re angry, you’re doing it wrong.
We’re told to breathe. Meditate. Take a walk. But who’s watching the toddler while you do that? Who’s folding the fourth load of laundry? Who’s holding space for you?
Anger in motherhood isn’t a failure. It’s a signal. A loud, neglected signal.
The Shame Spiral
You lose it. You yell. You cry. And then the shame crashes down.
You apologise. You spiral. Or you stay silent — scared to admit it out loud. You wonder if you’ve broken your child. You wonder if you’re broken.
“Anger doesn’t make you a bad mum. It makes you a mum who’s been unsupported for too long.”
That shame isn’t yours. It belongs to a society that sold you the myth and gave you no help.
The Science Behind Mum Rage
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This isn’t about being ‘too emotional’. It’s about biology. Hormones. Burnout.
A 2021 study in Frontiers in Psychology found that chronic stress and fatigue in mothers of young children dramatically increase emotional volatility.
Sleep deprivation doesn’t just make you tired — it impairs emotional regulation.
Hormonal fluctuations postpartum or during menstruation directly affect mood and irritability.
It’s not in your head. It’s in your nervous system.
The Cultural Pressure Cooker
Modern mums are isolated. Parenting in silos. Expected to do it all — and smile about it online.
You scroll picture-perfect feeds of gentle parenting, home-cooked snacks, minimalist nurseries. And feel like you’re the mess.
“The pressure to be perfect is a straight line to burnout. And rage? It’s the smoke from that fire.”
Real Strategies to Manage Mum Rage
1. Identify Your Triggers
Keep a journal or notes app. Notice when and why the rage flares.
2. Micro-Moments of Space
Lock the door. Hide in the loo. Stare at a wall for 90 seconds. Take what you can, when you can.
3. Talk to Someone
Therapy. WhatsApp support groups. One brutally honest friend who gets it.
4. Redistribute the Load
Your partner isn’t “helping” — they’re parenting too. Set boundaries. Delegate. Share it all. And if you need help here, we’ve created ‘The Partner Guide to Not Being Useless‘ to help.
Changing the Narrative on Mum Rage
Rage doesn’t make you ungrateful. It makes you human.
The more we speak about it, the more we normalise it. The more we normalise it, the more we push back against shame.
It’s not about glorifying rage. It’s about understanding it — and demanding change.
To the Mum Who’s Afraid of Her Own Anger
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You are not dangerous. You are not failing. You are not alone. You’re carrying too much. With too little help. For too long.
You deserve rest. You deserve care. You deserve a space to fall apart and still be loved.
If you’re ready to scream into the void — come sit with us. We’ll scream too. Then we’ll laugh. Then we’ll talk about what needs to change.
Want to Talk About It?
We don’t do small talk. We do real talk.
Join the Eklektik Mama WhatsApp support group, come to an event or DM us when you’re hanging on by a thread.
Let’s rewrite the motherhood manual. One ragey truth at a time.
